20 Monday Moments

1. Holy crap! I look rough first thing on a Monday.
2. Traffic tailback. 8:45 am. Awesome way to start the week. The same thing happens every damn week.
3. This is sad: Grown adults getting giddy at the sight of supermarket-bought jam doughnuts.
4. Radio debate on same-sex marriages. (Not my words). Quote: “What I would say to the gays, is how could you possibly consummate your marriage with only half a set of the required equipment."
5. Jesus Christ, lad, you stink! How can you have such bad B.O? It's only Monday.
6. Radio debate: Motoring, elderly driving, driving tests. 24-year-old policeman described by another caller as, “Wet behind the ears.” (That was generous).
7. Blimey, there are some ugly people around.
8. Why the Hell are there notices placed in the Staff Toilets, containing detailed instructions as to how to wash your hands?
9. Hmm... she's quite nice.
10. I want to write a deep, dark, introspective blog today.
11. Better not. Keep that stuff to yourself, Liam.
12. How come when I was obsessed by road-cycling, I was an anomaly? Now, I've lost interest, most of my idols are dead and cycling is popular.
13. Most people are morons.
14. At my local club, golfers manage to play tired, hungover or even plain drunk. Tiger pulls out with a dodgy heel.
15. There he is again... Stupid prick! (I don't mean Tiger. I actually like Tiger).
16. I'll go and play golf later. Might have a beer while I'm out.
17. Shit! I spend a lot on booze... and I don't earn much.
18. I can't do this much longer. It has gone beyond boring.
19. “Do you like Superman?” (Yes) “Do you prefer Superman or Kent Clark?” … Kent Clark??? … Dickhead!!!
20. It looks like being one of those, “Pass me the hemlock” weeks.