I Can Tell a Rat!

Have you ever caught a glimpse of a mouse, only for someone to suggest, “perhaps it was a rat?”

The reason I am pondering this is that I have just written up a short-story, that revolves around what turned out to be a shrew, amassing a remarkably impressive winter store of acorns, big enough to bring a Citröen C15 van to its knees.

The essence of my musing is that if you have ever seen a rat, you would not possibly ever confuse it for a mouse. In simple terms, rats are huge!

I have had quite a few dealings with vermin over the years. Living in the sticks makes that par for the course. I have also assembled an impressive body count and have an overall hunting record that would rival any pest controller, outdoorsman or feline.

There are three examples, resulting from personal experience that I will use to support my claim:

Firstly, one sunny, early-evening my father and I were sitting outside when we simultaneously spotted a rat nip past a drainpipe and across the rooftop. Talk about sheer size! Briefly, we were frozen to the spot. When we came to our senses, Dad went in search of rat poison, while I fetched the air rifle and proceeded to stand there, waiting transfixed for the next two hours. You would not do that for a mouse.

Secondly, I was sitting upstairs with the computer, when a mouse scuttled past the doorway and towards the stairs. I leapt to my feet, whipped my shoe off, chased it down the stairs – two, three steps at a time, like in a cartoon – and still had the time to take aim and bring an end to the mouse.

Thirdly and finally, we had an old barn that had been converted into living quarters upstairs with a basic workshop on the ground floor. There were a couple of toilets and a shower next to the workshop. One day, I took a trip to the far cubicle to spend a penny. I did not bother to put the light on, when mid-flow I perceived a great deal of movement and splashing around in the bowl. I do not need to tell you that I was shocked and that was no mouse! I grabbed a metal bar and did the necessary and I thank the Lord to this day that I had not made my way to that cubicle for any serious business.

Perhaps just another random thought, but I am sure there is a message in there for all of us.